Pregnancy Thoughts

Well we are here...the last 4 days of my pregnancy with our sweet baby Andrew.  It's hard to believe the big week is finally here so I thought I would take the opportunity to just jot down a few thoughts about this pregnancy.

I will never forget taking the pregnancy test one morning while Michael was still asleep.  While I was hoping the test was positive, I didn't expect it to actually be!  Michael's reaction was priceless when I woke him up, turned on the light, and asked him if that was definitely 2 lines I was looking at.     Unfortunately it all came at a very bittersweet time since I was on my way out of town that day with Joseph to go see my Grandpa one last time before he passed away the next day.  But it brought joy to my family and I love thinking that part of Grandpa lives on in our little one.

I've been blessed with a very great pregnancy.  Besides a very scary week at the beginning when I had some spotting, the pregnancy has overall been quite easy. I don't tend to get nauseous at all when I'm pregnant so it really makes it easy to just appreciate each and every day.  Now granted, these past few weeks my back has been killing me and it's awfully hard to get comfortable, but I try to remind myself that it just means I'm one day closer to holding our sweet baby.

It's been really different this time around since my c-section is actually scheduled ahead of time, unlike it was with Joseph.  Sometimes, I kinda miss the excitement about the unknown day and time when the big event will happen.  Plus, I also kinda felt like having the exact date set has made me feel like I've been counting down forever and sometimes I still wonder if the actual day will ever get here.  I've also found myself thinking a lot of "last times to do this or that" which has kinda made it emotional for me in ways. (i.e. last time to go to story time with Joseph for quite a while, etc).  But then the other part of me has really enjoyed knowing the exact date for planning and scheduling purposes.  It will be very helpful since we've had to come up with a schedule to make sure someone can be here to lift Joseph for me for a few weeks.  Also, it will actually be nice to not have to labor for 3 nights in a row and then over 24 hours the last day before delivering.  I look forward to starting the day as rested as possible and with a more clear and alert mind so that I can just be aware of every tiny moment of that special day.

If I'm completely honest, I've been surprised by just how emotional I've been this pregnancy.  Yes, some I can just chalk up to hormones.  But I think mostly it's due to just thinking about things will be changing in a whole new way - especially in regards to my relationship with Joseph.   Now please do not get me wrong, I am THRILLED about our sweet baby coming and can barely wait one more day for him to get here, but it also makes me aware of my norm with Joseph changing.  For the past almost 22 months, it's been just me and Joseph all day long.  I'm used to spending all day with just him and he is used to having just me.  We've also developed our own little schedule for the days and for each week with our activities, errands and playdates.  So I think I'm just experiencing what most moms go through when they prepare to go from one child to two.    I remember even having some similar emotions before Joseph was born that it was going to be so different to not just be me and Michael all the time. 

So I have those feelings, and then I think about Andrew and I get this peace over me that tells me it will all be just fine.  :)   I'm so amazed that God loves us so much that he blessed us with another little precious child to add to our family.  Every time he moves, even today, it just makes my heart and arms ache in anticipation to hold him and just soak up every inch of him.  I can't wait to see what he looks like, what little baby noises he will make, and smell that yummy newborn baby smell.  And I'm excited that he will make our family become an official family of FOUR!   I am so thrilled that he and Joseph will be close in age and can't wait to see their relationship blossom over the coming years.  I know I've said this before, but I really think Joseph is going to be so sweet with him and enjoy having another little one around.  And I'm so happy for Andrew to have a big brother to look up to and to play with.  I feel sad that I won't have all the one on one time with Andrew like I did with Joseph and I will miss having just hours to sit and hold him like I did with Joseph too.  

I have a lot of nerves about figuring out how to be a mom of 2 little ones.  A big part of me feels relief that I don't think I will be near as terrified about the newborn stage as I was with Joseph.  I feel like I know what to expect more this time.  But it's more the unknown of how to balance caring for a newborn with tending a busy toddler as well!   I feel ready though - ready for the day to get here, and ready to just figure it all out. 

My c-section is scheduled for 12:30pm on Thursday (Valentine's Day!).  Between here and Facebook I will try to post pictures as often as time allows.  I look forward to sharing our experience on the birth of our sweet Andrew with you all!